February 19, 2013

TWELVE HOURS AND FOUR MINUTES TO GO

Just finished the dinner and visit with the old friends.  Pauline is playing cards on her ipad.  I’m trying to figure out what to say here. 

 

We went to the pre-admit today and they took blood, height and weight.  The blood is for testing.  The height and weight are for chemo calculations.  Dr. S came in to check on me.

“Buenos dias Dr. S.”

“Good. How are you?”

“Terrified and ready to get started.”

“Well a little terrified can be a good thing.”

I guess so but…………….

We came home and I set about packing for the hospital.  Pauline went out to, well mostly just to go out. Mr. G who has been cutting my hair for almost 30 years came by and gave this batch of hairs their last cut. Pauline came back and we took a nap.  Not exactly an exciting day but excited is not how I’m feeling.  I may be a bit numb.  It is all kind of hard to wrap your head around.

I am still scared. I know what the odds are so I’d be a fool not to be.  But I am ready to get on with it. I made it through the evening and good-bying with friends without breaking down and honestly I’m feeling okay.  Tomorrow when I say good-bye for a while to Tweak and Lyla and Leukka I’ll lose it.  I know I will.  What I’ll feel the rest of the day I do not know.  I’d love to go in and take a long nap until the year has passed and I am psoriasis free; but that’s not going to happen now is it.

No it is going to be a long hard road and it is going to be bumpy.  But I’ve got Pauline and Leukka and all of you to get me through it.  I think I'll even be able to sleep tonight.

So Mrs. Davis let the ride begin.  My seat belt is fastened.

 

Yes, I know the actual quote is “bumpy night” but my brain is not functioning at its most creative right now yet I still thought I should write something tonight.  It’ll get better later.

That’s the plan anyway.

 

Boone