Monday Part Two
WITH APOLOGIES TO SOME OF YOU
After the Dr. left today Nurse D hung around for a minute patting my arm and shoulder with words of encouragement while I wept. Then Pauline and I lay together for a while, holding and hoping. I was really down so it was wonderful to hold her and kiss her head. I was really not in a good place. So this evening I turned to music.
I turned to Green Day, one of my favorite bands. Brash, loud, hard driving punk inspired rock with lyrics that make you scream them at the top of your lungs. Stella they even have a song I'm sure you would like if I can figure a way to send it to you.
So I called up the files on the computer, put in the earbuds and have been stretching rubber bands as fast and hard as I can for the last half hour. Finally wore my self out and I'm feeling much better.
Now for the part mentioned in the post title.
Some of you know that I am not a religious person. All of you do now. This is not the place for a monolog on the reasons why but I do find it a fascinating subject for debate and on the rare occasion that I find someone who wishes to engage I am very respectful, assuming it is mutual. Clarify that with the fact that folks like the Westborough Baptist Church in my opinion are completely evil and I'm hoping their God feels the same way about them and gives them a great big surprise when they see him/her.
The reason the apology is pertinent because after my round of bad news, feeling sorry for my self and lying in the bed staring at the wall in the dark for a while I have come to one thought............I AM GOING TO BEAT THIS GOD DAMN DISEASE NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES !!!!...........For those of you who may take offense let me explain what I mean by God Damn. I mean exactly that. I want God to Damn the thing in question and in this case I want it damned and shipped off to whatever singularity can keep it locked away forever without even a chance of it riding out on a chance spike of Hawking radiation. Furthermore I want it to carry with it the CMML from all of us that are dealing with it. I don't consider that to be taking any God's name in vain. I consider it a request.
I am sorry if you are still offended but that is just something I had to say. I am more than aware that I may not win this fight but I am going to fight it with everything I've got. It's all I can do. So keep praying for me and all the others, keep the good vibes coming, at the risk of offending again, ask the Great Flying Spaghetti Monster to cast his meatballs down such that they flow though my GI tract with healing power. (Come on ya gotta smile at that.).
As always, thank you for stopping by and if I make ask a favor, comments on this blog totally make my day and I could use that right about now so I you got a minute leave me one. If you ever start a blog I promise to return the favor.
Here's to a better, if hungrier tomorrow.
Boone
7 comments:
Meatballs you say? How about Macaroni & cheese. I think the Great Spaghetti Monster would be ok what that too.
I'm glad you have this blog to vent into. I enjoy commenting on it. I'm going to keep on praying for you, but you don't have to believe. I believe in Yelling at God. I think he can handle it. Thus, prayer, yell whatever...
I think good eating days are coming, it will just take a while. I'm glad you have a fight in you... let's go for it. We Gregory's rarely do anything the easy way. So let's take on the fight. I'm with you all the way.
Donor Girl
Okay, I'm half way there. I often turn to pandora.com for music on my computer. I found Green Day Station. so when you name my song, I'll see what I can do. No sound turned up tonight. My dachshund is already asleep. But I have been reading some of the lyrics. I may be in for a whole new treat. They played from an album, A Hangover You Don't Deserve. Oh well, close.
Hey Boone, So very glad to hear you talk that way. H and I both said we wanted you to fight and call on any power, music, herb, that gets your head an heart moving toward victory. I believe that good spirits are moving all around you and the blog info will get better and better. We love you and talk and think about you everyday. B an H
I would whole-heartedly confirm that you were always nothing but respectful in our discussions and I hope I came across the same way. While on that topic, I think the thing I miss most about each of our previous lives at the place that will go without mentioning, is our frequent and lively philosophical discussions. I have yet to find an equal to your wit or unique perspective on almost all things, and I thoroughly miss both.
I pray daily for healing and for strength. As does most of my family. I say most because I don't think Hunter or Mia quite comprehend it quite yet. They are still pure and in possession of unadulterated minds, haha.
Anyhow, keep doing what you are doing. Stay positive and do all you can do to go in the right direction. Good things will come, I am sure of it. Tell your better half we said hello.
Later.
-B
YES! That’s the Boone that I know and love. I know from our ancient and honorable friendship that you believe, as do I, that “we shall offend no Gods”. I also know that you are a deeply spiritual soul. That does not mean ‘religious’ in any sense, it goes much deeper and farther out than that. It is the source of your amazing strength in the face of this terrible struggle. In short, you owe none of us your friends any apology what so ever! I think of you frequently and look forward to words from you and Pauline daily. I miss you both and I wish I could come over and sit with you and get you to introduce me to Green Day. I think I might like them… Hang in there. tlsiii
Hey Boone,
From Tammy here in Atenas, Costa Rica. I've just joined your blog and this is a test run to see if I've done it right.
Hope you're doing alright and that your next treatment goes well.
I continue to send positive, healing energy aimed directly at YOU. And remember, I come from a long line of very good hunters and learned at a young age how to shoot. In other words - I've got a very good aim:)
Tammy
P.S. No apologies needed here
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